They say that the things you teach are the things you most need to learn. They are pretty smart, whoever they are.
I started this blog as a way to discover what would be amazing about becoming a mother so late in life. I was excited to share what I was learning about myself through the process but what I didn’t see coming was the anguish that lurked beneath the surface.
I wouldn’t say I was terribly depressed during the first two years after my son was born. But I would say that I still haven’t come to grips with the postpartum depression I suffered then. It wasn’t as though I wanted to hurt my baby, I was just so bloudy exhausted. The fatigue went deep. It sunk into my bones as my body became weaker day by day but all I wanted was sleep. I was desperate for it, craved it.
I didn’t escape the enormous guilt that so many new mothers feel either. I thought I would be impervious to it, after all I lived for forty-three years before having a child, I was independent, strong. But it held on tight. Having a baby became more about the constant worry that I was merely surviving rather than celebrating this new adventure.
Wasn’t I supposed to be willing to do anything for my child? Wasn’t it a time of new beginnings, of overcoming the greatest obstacles in the search for new meaning?
It was all of those things, eventually. But it took a long, long time to get there. My son is nearly four and a half and although I’m not there yet, I do believe I’m figuring it all out. Sleep helps.
I know that the things I struggle with will be my greatest teachers. And although I don’t wish this experience on anyone, living through this experience was the best thing that ever happened to me. With that in mind I wanted to share with you my FIVE truths that will help you rock the holidays, in some cases, naked.
Walk around naked and 4 other truths to rock the holidays
1. Celebrate yourself and enjoy the eggnog
One of the hardest things about having babies and getting older is seeing and feeling the changes in your once youthful body. The forehead once smooth now shows your worries, your concern, and your sadness. The butt that used to be ‘way up har!’ now sags a little closer to the ground. And let’s not talk about the boobage.
But even though these physical changes may be difficult to accept, we can liberate ourselves to embrace the evolution of the fierceness and confidence that comes with ageing. And we can rock it!
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During the holidays we want to look and feel our best and of course, there is nothing wrong with that. If I didn’t think so I wouldn’t have worked in the spa industry as long as I had or embarked on my new business. But it’s important to have balance. Celebrate yourself and your friends, let go of judgements and for God’s sake enjoy the eggnog!
Of course it is important to provide our bodies with healthy foods as it is less forgiving these days, but we CAN let go of the idea that we must look good all the time to fit in. So have a healthy snack before you go to the party to prevent yourself from being too hungry and then rock it girl!
2. Accept those compliments and dance!
When someone takes the time to compliment you, accept it. Let it sink in. Most people don’t go out of the way to tell you these things and the best thing you can do in return is accept it. And there’s no need to reciprocate because that’s a dead giveaway you’re feeling insecure. Accept, move on and dance like no ones watching!
3. Give and live longer
Studies show that giving to others is good for your health in these ways.
- Lower blood pressure
- Increased self-esteem
- Less depression
- Lower stress levels
- Longer life
- Greater happiness
My partner has always been the kind of person to give gifts at Christmas which is very sweet. And while it still hasn’t rubbed off on me quite yet, I’m doing my best to de-Grinchify this year. So I’m making more of an effort to give something special to the people I love. It’s important to show you care all year round of course, but I think Christmas gives us a really good reason to celebrate and connect more deeply with each other. And giving hugs not only feels good, it is good for your health too.
4. Teach your kids to be grateful
When kids feel the benefits of giving they are less likely to bully and do better in school. It makes a lot of sense of course.The best way to teach our children about anything is to do it ourselves which is why this year we are going to be attending a toy swap in my community and donating toys to the Lower Mainland Christmas Bureau. It’s an opportunity for our son to understand how fortunate he is. We are also contributing to a Christmas family hamper at his school so when we go to the shops we’ll talk about what we are grateful for to add to our Advent Calendar Bucket List.
4. Walk around naked but not at the Christmas party
I’m sure you’ll agree that we feel most vulnerable with our clothes off. Do you walk around naked at home? There’s something about this that scares the crap out of me. And I know that when I say ‘never’ about something it is one of those things that I have to get to eventually.
If you were to stop by my house there would be no rushing around to get dressed before opening the door for you. It’s not that I would answer the door naked it’s just that I’m one of those women who even wears a bra at home. Too much information? If you’re still reading this blog it’s because you love that about me, right?