Look at this girl. What do you see?
I see a girl about twenty years old. Beautiful. Intelligent eyes. Confident. Ready to explode onto the scene, the world hers for the taking.
But that wasn’t to be
Underneath the lovely exterior, she was weak.
She was without faith in her ability and inner strength. She suffered from an inability to understand her wonder. She misunderstood love.
So it’s no surprise she didn’t see it coming
He latched on quickly to her, and her to him. He showered her with gifts, told over and over that she was loved. She was the one he said. She was perfect. She deserved his love.
There was the other side
When asked what his ideal woman looked like, he said, ‘She has green eyes and red hair.’
She wanted to be that for him but of course she couldn’t. But she struggled to make the best of a bad situation. It wasn’t like she had any other option.
She convinced herself that what he said was the truth. She convinced herself that his plan for her was the only option she had.
She loved him because she didn’t love herself
He isolated her from her friends. He watched her every move, controlled her. He told her what to wear, and what not to. He was insanely jealous seeing her making eyes at men who weren’t on her radar.
She loved him as he continued to belittle her. She gave away the last shred of confidence she had.
The self-doubt she carried grew as he continued to beat her down. She came to believe that being treated this way was normal for a girl like her. Didn’t she deserve to be treated this way? After all the most important male role model in her life had abandoned her.
Surely, he could save her?
Instead he broke her
‘You’re not good enough!’
‘You’re too fat.’
‘You have bad skin.’
‘You’re too tall.’
‘Your blue eyes should have been green.’
She felt unworthy. Ugly. Unloved. But still she stayed. He raged.
And put his hands around her throat, choking her.
He released her but it was too late. It changed everything.
If I could talk to this girl now…
I would say…
‘As the most important person in your life, love yourself first. It is all that matters.’
‘Have a fierce belief in yourself.’
Know that your actions impact those around you without fail.’
‘Don’t let anyone tell you that you are not perfect just the way you are.’
‘Be kind to everyone, especially yourself.’
‘Live your life with a compassionate heart.’
‘When you look in the mirror be gentle. Smile more. Look past the flaws. See yourself.’
And most importantly…
Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to realize your worth. For that, I thank her.
She was a survivor if nothing else.
was IS me.
What would you say if you could talk to this girl?
This post was reposted on G Day for Girls, an important cause that reaches out to our girls. Please support them. Girls, all girls deserve a bright future free from bullying, free from pain.