This post continues the series, From Crap to Snap! A Woman’s Guide to Getting it Right: Part 3, which discusses realizations I’ve had that seem to point the way to a happier existence. Or not.
I want to like Christmas, I really, really do.
I have to admit that I’m a bit of a Grinch when it comes to enjoying the craziness and excitement that is the jolly season. When you see Christmas decorations in the shops as early as October, (seriously Costco hadn’t even sold the last of the Halloween crap and yet there was silver and gold wrapping paper everywhere), it’s hard to be cheerful for so long about an occasion like Christmas. It was a horrifying HalloweeMas mash-up that sends me running home and back into bed.
It is getting easier now that OLM (Our Little Monkey) has turned four years old however. He was so damn excited to see the Christmas tree up when he woke from his nap yesterday that I couldn’t help but feel the icy-ness of holiday humdrum melting away. The look on his face was so precious.
Did my heart grow by three sizes yesterday? I can still the warmth of that moment in my heart. Egad I am such a sap. But it’s all good.
You might be wondering what happened. How can one who could in all honesty say that Christmas was a bore in the past suddenly feel the warmth of candy cane promises where there were once icicles in her heart? How has the renewed child-like wonder and excitement gotten rekindled? Surely I must be experiencing a mid-life crisis, right?
Yes and no. It’s much more simple than that. Wait for it…
I AM SLEEPING BETTER!
It’s true I am! But I don’t want to jinx it just yet but I think the days of sleep deprivation are FINALLY behind me. And that means I care less about my bed and more about everything else, including Christmas.
It might sound selfish, but when you’ve suffered from poor quality sleep and insomnia for over ten years, it is hard to function never mind give a sh*t about much of anything including all the festivities around the arrival of Santa Claus.
Sleep deprivation brings out the worse in all of us and until you’ve experienced it long term it is incomprehensible how much it affects everything. Throw in starting a family at 43 and you’ve got a whole other ball of sparkly ribbon.
I’ve come out the other side and it’s grand. So far.
As you can tell I’m still a bit skeptical that I’m not quite out of the wintry woods. But I am starting December with the hope that every day will bring me a step closer to fully embracing this holiday, even if I have to remind myself to look at it through the eyes of my son, over and over again until I am convinced Santa Claus really exists.
And with little to no wine consumption happening these days, I will have to be reminded of Santa’s existence over and over by a little boy who stole my sleep-deprived heart over four years ago.
One more thing. I’ll be posting something holiday-related five days a week leading up to Christmas Day to not only stay de-Grinchifyed but to also fulfill a challenge/promise I made to a group of fine peeps who are doing the same.
Wish me luck!
Check out the #MPHolidayGuide 2014, just published today!