This post is part of a series, From Crap to Snap: A Woman’s Guide to Getting it Right. ‘Crap’ refers to negative thoughts, peppered with self-doubt swirling around in the head. ‘Snap’ refers to the break though moment as you realize the crap no longer has to define you. My hope is that in writing it down here, I can let it go and step into the awesomeness that is my life.
Do You Measure Up?
If you are the kind of person who constantly compares yourself to others, you are not alone. We all do it and have always done it because it’s human nature. Comparing ourselves to others helps us understand how we fit into the world around us, what our role is, and how we measure up in the eyes of others.
But there is one piece of the puzzle that is missing when we compare ourselves to others and that is this:
How does comparing yourself to others affect your self-esteem? What do you do with this information?
Well it depends on what you are comparing. From a woman’s point of view, ’cause it’s all I got baby, comparing my efforts (or what I have or don’t have) doesn’t boost self-esteem. It has exactly the opposite effect. And then I use the (lack of) information against myself to prove I’m not worthy of success or happiness.
My Rough Draft, Your Best Seller
When you look from the outside into someone else’s life there is no way to know the whole story. You don’t see the hard work, the relationships that may have suffered and the time spent away from family. The biggest problem with comparing ourselves to others is that we look at an idealized version of someone or their circumstances and come to the conclusion that unless we are all that, or have all that, we fall short. It’s like comparing your rough draft of the novel you’re writing against a published author’s runaway bestseller.
The Next Moment Can Be Different
Now, I’m not saying that when things look amazing on the outside it’s all a sham. Hopefully, it’s not that way at all. My point is that we are so busy comparing our lives to those around us that we don’t see what is in right in front of us. We spend so much time wishing for things we will never have that we miss a whole lot that is going on around us. We can’t seem to understand and accept that the decisions we’ve made up to this point have defined this moment right now. The next moment can look very different if we want it to be.
You Can Walk that Catwalk Mama
1. Be content
What if you decide to proud of who you ARE? What if you take the time to be grateful for what you have right now? I’ll tell you what. That is the secret to having more of what you want in your life. Being content with what you have NOW is the ticket to happiness.
2. Honour yourself
There will always be someone who has more stuff, is more intelligent, more savvy, more creative and more beautiful. But there is no one like you. If you take the time to honour all the qualities that make up who you are, you are further ahead than most.
3. Celebrate who you are right now
You are exactly what your kids need right now. You are exactly what your life partner or husband or wife or business partner needs. No woman on earth can do what you do. Celebrate that and you’ll be more content, my friend.
It’s not easy to focus on being content when your head is spinning and you feel out of focus. Believe you me. I know this. But today is a new day, thank all that is holy, and we can start anew.
Just for today
Just for today, let’s walk the catwalk that is our lives together. Let’s step into our awesomeness and hold our heads high, mama.
This blog placed in the top 10 of VancouverMom.ca ‘s Top 30 Mom Bloggers of 2013. I am so grateful and proud to be part of such an awesome group of women.